is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
