A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
