She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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