Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
