Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
