I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
