I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
