Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
