he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
