my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
