I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
