She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
