Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
