Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
