The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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