arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
