I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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