Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
