also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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