my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
