After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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