My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
