I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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