You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
