end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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