Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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