Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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