can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
