sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
