Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
