you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
