Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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