matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
