He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
