Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
