i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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