McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
