Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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