it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
