I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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