dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
