So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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