In the future we'll all be gay
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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