There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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