i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
