Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am naked and annoyed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
