i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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