Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
