She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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