2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
